Paris Hume

When I was in High School in Greenbrier County, WV, we had a principal who had a special way of saying things. His name was Paris Hume, Jr.

Here are some of my favorites. The wording may not be perfect, but close enough!

• Announcement over load speaker for entire school: "Attention, teachers. We are working on the loadspeaker system. If any of you can not hear this message, please send a student to the office to let us know so we can fix the speaker in your room."
• Announcement over load speaker for entire school: "The National Honor Society will be selling shirts in the lobby, and they are available in a variety of colors. Blue, yellow, red, green and lieutenant greent."
• To his fellow officials at the football game (yes, he also served as an athletics official): "Gentleman, let's circumcise our watches."
• To the superintendant of schools regarding an difficult issue of some sort: "I was on needles and threads all day long."
• To the teachers in his school: "In order to save money, we need to cut back on the number of carbonated pencils we use."